Seems like yesterday...

Today has been one month to the date that we said goodbye to Sadie.  Seems like yesterday, but it also seems like it was so long ago!  Things have been funny around here for the last few weeks.  Adjustments have been made and we are trying to get back to our everyday routine.  A sadness does loom about though.  Though the days feel normal, it's those few moments where you think about your lost loved one,  like when I think I hear her coming down the stairs, or ironically enough I run to shut the front door when I carry the groceries in because I forget she is not here, and think she is getting ready to sprint out the front door, down the street to visit neighbors! It's those moments that make me smile, but it is also when the sadness creeps in.  It hits us all at different times, and some of us are able to talk about Sadie with a smile, some of us still drop some tears, and wish things were different.  Just like losing a human loved one, each day gets a little bit easier. 

I wanted to take a minute and thank everyone for their kind words, cards, emails and messages sent.  I know I may not have responded to each one personally, but it was, and still is -  all very much appreciated!

Lastly, for nearly a month the poem I am about to share has sat here on my blog as a draft.  I didn't publish it, because though it brought me a little comfort, it made me cry more.  It made me cry again today - but the happier tears that make me think of how lucky I was the last 11 years, and how we should not feel guilt over our goodbye.

    FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

(I do not know who wrote the poem, it was sent to me - I am going to see if I can find a name to give them credit!)