<3 Sadie's Tree, finally lit! <3

Seems like yesterday...

Today has been one month to the date that we said goodbye to Sadie.  Seems like yesterday, but it also seems like it was so long ago!  Things have been funny around here for the last few weeks.  Adjustments have been made and we are trying to get back to our everyday routine.  A sadness does loom about though.  Though the days feel normal, it's those few moments where you think about your lost loved one,  like when I think I hear her coming down the stairs, or ironically enough I run to shut the front door when I carry the groceries in because I forget she is not here, and think she is getting ready to sprint out the front door, down the street to visit neighbors! It's those moments that make me smile, but it is also when the sadness creeps in.  It hits us all at different times, and some of us are able to talk about Sadie with a smile, some of us still drop some tears, and wish things were different.  Just like losing a human loved one, each day gets a little bit easier. 

I wanted to take a minute and thank everyone for their kind words, cards, emails and messages sent.  I know I may not have responded to each one personally, but it was, and still is -  all very much appreciated!

Lastly, for nearly a month the poem I am about to share has sat here on my blog as a draft.  I didn't publish it, because though it brought me a little comfort, it made me cry more.  It made me cry again today - but the happier tears that make me think of how lucky I was the last 11 years, and how we should not feel guilt over our goodbye.

    FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.

(I do not know who wrote the poem, it was sent to me - I am going to see if I can find a name to give them credit!)

Goodbye....

We said goodbye to our Sadie girl today.  She is resting peacefully now, no longer in pain.

Over the last week there has been a roller coaster of emotions. The biggest emotion I can say we experienced is love.  Sadie was a one of a kind dog.  A sweetheart like no other.  Many say she was so lucky to have us, but in reality, we were so very lucky to have had her in our lives. 

There have been many ups and downs over the past year, and more to come.  I have to pick up my children today, and tell them they have lost their best friend.  Please keep us all in your thoughts at this difficult time, and be happy for our Sadie, as she can finally run and play pain free...

Below is a poem that one of my very best friends shared with me...See you someday soon Sadie!  <3

The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved.

 Sadie 

March 20, 2001 - February 9, 2012

Nearing the end of the road....

After our visit to the vet today, it has been confirmed that we are nearing the end. Sadie has stopped eating and can no longer get up on her own without assistance.

We brought her home today, to spend some time as we prepare to say goodbye.

Everyone is dealing in their own way. Some anger, anxiety, denial and tears. Most importantly there is lots of love!

Rough couple of days!

Sadie hasn't been feeling too hot!  She hasn't eaten her dog food since Friday, even when we poured her favorite broth over it, she is just turning up her nose - she is experiencing a lot of nausea.  She is drinking lots of water though, so hopefully that is a plus.  She took a little spill on Saturday, where her back legs fell out from under her.  We are not sure if it was out of excitement to come in and play with the kids, or if it had to do with her not feeling well...maybe a combination of both.  Since then she has been limping on her front right paw/shoulder.  Today she can't walk on it, and is shedding her skin because she is stressed.  We are awaiting a call back from our vet to see where we go from here. 

Please keep my family in your good thoughts, as my gut says our time to say goodbye is coming close.

<3

Happiest of New Years!

It's been some time since I last checked in  I hope anyone reading this had a wonderful Holiday season spent with those that they love!

Not a lot has changed around here!  Sadie is still here, living her life to the fullest.  Each day is a blessing.  Though for me, I was starting to think she is just hanging in there to give me grief and grey hair!  Sadie has reverted back to being a spoiled brat!  She tries to get on the sofa, she takes people's food as if she is entitled to it, and pretty much does as she pleases! (typical pre-teen if you ask me!) I was finding myself often at my wits end, and dare I say it, just wishing she would get on with it, if you know what I mean.  But the last few days I have been thinking about her behavior, and I have summed it up to this.  Sadie is dying, she isn't going to get any better, so she is living her life to the fullest.  She is taking risks (running out the front door at any chance she gets), trying new things (like the sushi off the counter), and has no regard for anyone or anything but herself.  I think, much like a human, she is in some ways conquering her bucket list! 

Thank you to everyone who has asked about her and her health.  It's nice to know that she crosses your minds at times.  I will do my best to check in more often, or as anything comes up!